Call Me Out

I was having a conversation with someone close to me recently on the topic of worry. I used to be quite a worrier so I can relate and understand how it can affect my mind and body. Add fear in there and it wasn’t a good combination. I would lie awake at night worrying about this or that and fearful of whatever my mind could conjure up. For most of us, it’s a natural tendency when issues arise for worry to set in. The only way I overcame these was through prayer. The. Only. Way.

It didn’t happen over night. It was gradual and when I realized I had beaten it totally, I knew. Fear no longer kept me up at night. What I saw once the worry and fear disappeared was a new way of living. I saw shifts in my relationships and shifts in how I viewed everything. But it doesn’t mean that from time to time, worry doesn’t slip back in.

Last week, my son Landry was to take a school-wide field trip to a theatre in Toledo, Ohio to see a performance of The Christmas Carol. No parents were invited to this and I’d be flying to New York at the time and felt the control slip right out of my hands. Do I let him go? I was feeling uneasy about it. I emailed his teacher with my concern. I shared my plight with anyone who would listen. What I hadn’t done was pray about it. So I did. But why was prayer my last resort and not my first response here?

Sometime after, I was on the treadmill in my basement. In that room, I have a Christmas tree that I keep decorated and pull out of the storage unit every year. At the top of it is a gold star. The star won’t stand up. I’m always adjusting it for it just to fall down again. Well sure enough, I look over and it is perfectly positioned and shining down on me in a way the just spoke and illuminated, “protection.” It glowed like an angel and set my mind at ease. It was instantaneous that I released any negative energy I was having about sending Landry on this wonderful opportunity of a field trip. In that moment, I knew he’d be protected. I was given a strong message and reminder in who’s in charge. It isnt me, although when it comes to my children, I’d like it to be. I couldn’t wait for him to go.  He had a wonderful time too!

This leads me back to the conversation I was having about worry. I made it seem like I never worry, but I do, and I had, and I was called out. Thankfully so. The lesson for me, the opportunity in this, is knowing that I rarely get stuck there. And I’m thankful for that. And that I should be praying about not just anything, but everything. Prayer always leads me in better alignment and relationship with Jesus, to answers and to rest. Worrying and living in fear is my old life. I just needed to be reminded, around Christmas especially, as I can tend to focus my attention elsewhere and to the hurts and happenings of the past, instead of on the ever present gift of A Savior.