We undoubtedly live in an image-obsessed culture. I could only imagine that if I was 22 at the present moment and starting a blog, it would perhaps be a fashion or design blog instead. Not that there’s anything wrong with those. Plug into Instagram for a few minutes and hit search and see how many celebrities pop up dressed to impress, looking rather fab just after giving birth with their perfectly done hair and makeup, out for a stroll in their designer heels. I’m not sure how JLo, Kim and Khloe or Christie Brinkley are my target audience, but there they are, looking all amazing and getting millions of accolades in likes that just seems to stir the obsession-with-self pot even further. Author, Sharon Hodde Miller says, “whenever we relinquish our splendor, we fight back against the impossible standards for women. When we lower the bar for women around us, expose our weaknesses instead of keeping up, and humble ourselves instead of competing, that is a gift to our sisters. In an image-obsessed culture like ours, that’s what love looks like.”
This got me thinking. I can make my appearance about myself or I can focus on the purpose of my appearance. One seems about only ever striving to be better and the latter seems to hold a lot more freedom and true health. So, I am going to a fashion and beauty show tomorrow night benefitting a great cause, The S.O.A.P. Project. I have spent two days going back and forth about what to wear. Why? Because in my mind, I see everyone else in attendance dressed to impress in their cute, on-trend ensembles, with perfect hair and makeup, and then there will be me, plain Jane. So, what’s wrong with that. Nothing! But, in the culture we live in, I’m making this about appearance and that is why I can’t commit to just looking mediocre, at best. It shouldn’t be about being the cutest one in the room. Right? What’s wrong with scaling it back a step or two? Not that I think I shouldn’t be concerned with how I present myself. I believe God can use everything about us to draw others to Him. But being pre-occupied with the way I look and dress just leads to distraction and in my case, it has. I can be an overly-concerned contributor to the pressures of this outward appearance based culture, or not.
This leads me to what I’m learning about being mindful of self-image and how it shouldn’t be my primary focus. There’s many factors that can lead to a negative body image and/or a constantly striving-to-change-it mentality. I’ve surely been known to begrudgingly participate in some self loathing and exhaust myself by means to improve the way I look. It’s not a healthy place to live, nor is it beneficial to a single person around me. Everyone was created differently and that is what makes us unique. This is something to celebrate! But instead of seeing ourselves as unique individuals and appreciating the true beauty about ourselves and others, it’s easier to compare and strive towards what our culture considers beautiful and/or get wrapped up in the latest sexy trends. I’ve found that it is much more beneficial for me to view myself from an individual perspective when it comes to my appearance, health and fitness and try not to get over-focused there. As a result, I don’t take anything to the extreme. It shouldn’t come at a cost I can’t afford or detain from my real purpose. This looks different for everyone. For me, it starts with loving myself right where I am and seeking what works for me from a health-focused perspective, not from a vain point of keeping up or comparison. Comparison is a thief. There is no freedom there. There will always be new ads, products, diets, exercise programs and models to help point out our flaws and make us feel less than so we’ll jump on their hamster wheel in order to fix ourselves. I’m in no way bashing the fitness industry or beauty industry for that matter. They serve a purpose. There’s so many benefits in living an active life. And who doesn’t like a trip to the salon? But my emphasis shouldn’t be consumed with perfect results that may or may not be attainable and that come at an unprofitable level or by an overindulgence in self. In a compassion-based culture, we see others for who they are, not for how they look or dress. By humbling ourselves and rejecting these impossible standards, we are free to really love one another.